grrrr Blogger

Gah!!! I can't put in a picture!! i have been trying, truly, but the stupid computer isnt letting me1! rawr. Oh and I have drawn whiskers on my face with blue eyeliner. yay!!

High School Looms Ahead

It's not even spring break yet and I'm already thinking about highschool. I'm a little afraid of the big building and big halls and big seniors, and also a little afraid of the fact that I will have acsess to certain substances that I really shouldn't have acsess to, and also afraid that i won't get into IB and I'll be the dumb one while all of my friends go on to big colleges and stuff. But hell, I'm so excited too! I'm going to the highschool where I'm going to know like everyone (ok, not really but it kinda feels like it) and I'll be surrounded by the poeple I love and hopefully will begin to love some new people.

I've noticed that I am relly, really happy with my life right now, and I know that high school shouldnt change that, but I don't want to lose things the way they are now. I like not belonging to a single group and just floating around and hanging out with veryone. I like wearing my rings and drawing rocket ships on my arms in math. i like being able to sit down at any lunch table i want to and talk to all of my friends there. I really don't want to lose this over the summer.



btw, Sarah, Dayna, Lexie, Emma person who I don't know yet but I'm sure you're cool, which electives should I sign up for? I'm lost in a sea of applications!

"i must break you"

so today i was watching one of the rambo ovies with the big blonde russian guy who's all like "i must break you."

ok, 1) i know some people who look like wimpy deflated versions of that guy
and 2) LOL!!!!!!! i mean the line was epic, but for some reason the whole steroids filled russian accented bleached blonde ness of the guy just made me fall over laughing. like, cmon seriously? i just wanted to give a hug and a teddy bear. XD

occupations

since i'm applying to ib and all that wonderfull stuff, i've started thinking about careers. my top career choices are all stuff that involves art. i don't want to be a lawyer or a doctor or a scientist. i want to be some form of artist. so here is a list of carers i'm currently considering.

-actor
-proffesional ballet corpes
-hip hop teacher
-chef to the stars
-fashion designer
-stylist
-makeup artist
-personal assistant
-photographer
-director
-painter. like van gogh
-cellist/violinist
-web designer
-singer
-writer
-working for a fashion magazine
-music engineer
-architect
-videographer


i don't know what t do with my life. the unfortunate thing about all of the careers above is that none of them bring in a lot of money...

generally yuck

gah! these past few days have made me so freakin emotional! not like sad emotional like an extremely bi-polar mix of happy/angry/really happy/pissed. why, god, why are you making my life like this? ok, so, yestreday mike was pissing me off so much that i dumped him. then i was really really happy, cuz the dance class i teach to volunteer went really well (for the most part), but today... ugh. my schedule by classes.....it's pretty fuckin amazing

choir - happy!! choir was really fun!
orchestra - PISSED AS HELL. I kinda stormed out of the room swearing and pushing over music stands and kicking anything and everything out of my way. haha i have to quit at the end of the quarter, but i'm kinda happy about that becdause i hate orchestra
math - meh. not terrible.
history - Happy!! today we did like nothing, so it was great!
lunch - really happy!!
science - meh bored not the best day ever
language - fuck my life.
after school - happy! it's over!!

Dammit.

Shut up, self. I am so fucking self centered. MUST GO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.

Never the First

I have recently noticed that I am never the first. I don't mean like competitions, I mean when people think of friends that they'd go to for certain advice or whatever. I may be one of the first few, but I'm never first. Everyone always has some one better, if only by a little bit. I don't really mind, I just kinda noticed that I'm not the first person in someone's mind when they wake up. I'm not the face that someone imagines first when you're playing truth or dare and you get asked about who you are secretly in love with. It doesn't relly matter, and there's nothing I can do about it, I'm just noticing. I honestly don't mind. Honest honestly, not just saying honestly to mask the fact that I do care. I mean, it makes me feel warm when someone says they thought of me, but I guess that's just being self centered. Maybe that's why I'm so self centered, because I'm used to not being thought about. If I think about myself then no one else will have to. hahaha, here I go again...

Musik

lots of new good music on the ipod. thank jesus for Nevershoutnever!

2009

what the hell? everyone else is doing it.

2008. First half, sucked monkey. Second half, kicked monkey ass!
Right up until june-ish (with the exeption of june 29th which sucked major ass) life was not fun. but then school ended and danceteam ended and i cut my hair and changed my appearance and started to blossom from my own ashes. acting camp was really fun, and friends were made. i still text Maya and Nathan. then school started. everyone who had held me down last year i left behind to join a new group of friends. and for the rest of 2008, life was pretty good.


sooooo now its 2009. i guess i should make a few resolutions....

~ learn tarot. like memorize the keltic method.
~ try not to be so much of an attention whore.
~ start a webshow.
~ write more often.
~ become more skilled in the arts of music, dancing, and acting.
~ draw prettier pictures.
~ try not to do illeagal stuff quite so often.


so there ya have it =)

Ahahahaha New Years!!

PARTAYYYYYY!

I spent new years eve/day with a few of my closest buddies. and we partied. and it was funfunfun.

staying up til 8 am? check.
setting off fireworks and almost getting the police called on us cuz of angry old geezers? check.
drinking wayyyyy too much cider? check.
dancing around like idiots to pass the time? check.
eating magicaltastic enchiladas at 2:30 am? check.
taking lots of retarded looking pictures? check. myspace, beware!!