Occupied.

I have realized that I have been very preocupied on this break. so far it has been the most eventful break i have ever had. not including the ones where i travelled or i was younger then 7. I have been hanging out with people pretty much nonstop except today. and today was just a chill out day. I like being occupied. Get your mind out of the gutter. thats not what I mean. I mean i like having something, anything to do, human interraction is good for the soul. When i'm by myself i think too much. usually i just sit around watch like 9 hours of tv and let my brain ot because thinking is too much work, but not this time. this time I've been acting like a healthy human being. its pretty fantastic.

the sun will set for you.

I've been feeling very music inspired lately. mainly cuz music is the only noise i can stand without feeling like i want to run away in tears and hide in my bed and hug my blankets close and tell my problems to winnie the pooh. i don't know what my problem is lately. nothing at all interesting has hapened. i know that tomorrow will be interesting. i know that saturday will be interesting. but so far nothing is interesting. school sucks as usual and home is just home. but every noise i hear makes me want to slit my wrists or swallow pills or something. i don't know why. people chewing, the sound of the keyboard as i type, i don't even know. talking, whispering. everything makes me want to hide away forever. i want to sound-proof my room. i need quiet. all this nois eis making e crazy. i just want to run away and draw pictures and eat cake and snuggle under my blankets and watch dr. who. it is freezing outside. it is too tight inside. i need air. my air. no one elses. but music is like my little vice. the only thing i can hear without wanting to die. i need a break.

Penny Lane type of day

Today is Sunday. today i have had a Panny l;ane kinda day. wow I've been very Beatles inspired lately.. watever. Hooray for hippies! lol ok so yeah. today was one of those days thats all family oriented (not my family, Kat's) and its all friends and family and food and cute little children laughing and joking and ugh. Not "ugh" at the happiness of today, "ugh" at the.. idk... the weirdness to me. I think that there is probably something wrong when regular family&friends time feels weird to me. Sunday brunch feels weird to me. Tradition feels weird to me. Normal=Sunday Brunch. Whatever. Today has been nice, just it felt weird all day.

Muffin Crumbles.

Show biz sucks!
I had an audition last week, and then I had one a few days ago, and I have a performance next week, then dress rehearsals next week, then after that I have like 7 performances, plus I'm rehearsing everyday exept tuesday for like everything and I'm getting seriously stressed and I can't wait for half of my shows to be over so I can just leave the companies.

For a fish and finger pie..

The Beatles are making my day right now. I am getting what I need right now, and what I need is to be able to forget all the shit that's bothering me and just get lost in the music. I love that feeling, first satisfaction. I am getting what I want. Next, calm. I can finally breathe and not talk and just melt away with the sound of the voice singing. Thanks JohnPaulGeorge&Ringo. Breathe, think. Breathe think. Feel. I finally feel like I can pay attention to things. I mean, I always pay attention to things, but I feel like I can actually care now.. The world has been muted and all I have to pay attention to is the message that "all you need is love".

oh wow I totally live for this kind of shit

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg8mZKbUzwE&feature=related

New Foneeee

I got a new phone cuz my amazing tiny skinny one kinda snapped in half ... *crycry* I loved that phone... but it's ok, cuz my new one is amazingtastic! It's pretty an iPhone, but without the i. It has no butons, just a touch screen, and isn't black, it's 'espresso' but whatever. I love it! so yeah, that was pretty much the highlight of an otherwise crummy day.

Angry

Today so far has not been the best day ever. My mother is making me angry, and the abomonation of a little sister is not helping. I slapped my sister, which was bad, and then i stormed off to my room and turned up some screamo really loud, and I didn't know what to do, so i started writing things that cheer me up on my self. then I started writing everything on myself. and before I knew it practically my entire body was covered in words good, bad, deep, shallow. then I realized that my mother would totally freak out and I just didn't want to have to deal with her obnoxious attention-whoring, so I took a shower. Gah! Sometimes I just don't know how to deal...

O FLIGHT!!

OMG so today I get to go on an orientation flight for Civil Air Patrol. It's really fun cuz for part of it I get to fly the plane!! i think... anyway, I'm like super duper pumped that I get to go today!! and then I'm seeing a movie with my friends!! and then Im going shopping! today had better be a good day lol

YES.

OBAMA WON. YES. WE ARE SAVED. lol wow

oh god

running away from any tv/radio/internet news/ news-giving-type device that will tell me how the election is going. I don't want to know until I know! it'll make more sense tomorrow...

omg ok,

so halloween was so much fun!!

party at kats
trick or treating with sam, jennah, eli, and kenzi

and eli just asked me out! yay!