History repeating...again. =/

every little thing is making me think of last year. the st.louis thing. the fact that i slept until 11 this morning. the fact that i am sucking at math. the fact that we did cramprolls and seperated pullbacks in dance. the fact that i'm sound-sensitive. the fact that even though i'm over and done with mike, he's like everywhere and avoiding me. the fact that i've been thinking about cutting a lot lately and i don't know why. Ugh!

i don't want last yer again. last year was hell. absolute hell.

just when i think i'm climbing out of this mess i got myself into last year, it comes alive and tries to eat me. no, mess. Don't eat me. you suck.

The situations are irrelevant now.

ok, so I'm supposed to be going to St. Louis for a jew crew convention thingy in march. i'm supposed to fly out a few days early to hang with one of my friends there and when my parents talked to their parents on the phone, i was pretty much ready to die. i reallyreallyreallyrealllyREALLY want to go to st. louis, but its prolly not gonnba happen now cuz my friends parents prolly think my parents are crazy and it's in the middle of csaps and it costs a lot and well

there is facepalm
there is headdesk

and in this situation, i really feel like gunhead

Yurckk

This morning sucked assssssssssss. Basically i have been fired from orchestra. the principal discussed, then yelled... loudly... then discussed more and called my parents. and now i'm out. i don't even know what i did. I wasn't gonna quit till the end of the quarter, but evidently, i'm just not good enough for that.

Ughhhh. I didn't even care about leaving orchestra til the principal started talking about blaming it all on manda. then i got super-frigid-bitch and started crying and swearing and yah. manda didn't do anything exept listen to me and my stupid ideas on how to have fun at the teacher's expense.

all in all i wanted to shoot someone for the most pert of school. after lunch i felt better and cores were fun, but before lunch i was ready to go on an uzi-spree. Gah!! i hate this school.